


Friends on the Other Side

by MiraDramer



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, How Do I Tag, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, everyone's a bitch at some point
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-13 06:06:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28648770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiraDramer/pseuds/MiraDramer
Summary: Virgil feels stuck. Both other Dark Sides treat him worse and worse from day to day. Virge doesn’t know what to do…until he bursts in on Thomas talking to three other Sides he has never seen before. His life starts changing rapidly as he starts to fit in. But while Virgil becomes happier with every single minute that passes, Janus has his very own battle to fight, that no one but him knows about.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Logic | Logan Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Sleep | Remy Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Thomas Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders
Comments: 2
Kudos: 29





	1. What the hell?

**Author's Note:**

> Hey!  
> I am posting this to keep myself motivated to keep writing. I don't promise anything, but I hope you enjoy it nontheless ;)
> 
> TW: mentioning of suicide

„Virge, get your lazy angsty ass down here!”

This was the third time Remus was screaming up to him alone in the past ten minutes. Virgil knew that the Duke didn’t really care about his presence at the breakfast table, Remus rather knew, how much it annoyed the shit out of him.

The boy forced himself to sit up. He slept neither well nor long, his brain felt like a hurricane. Virgil stood up and got his hoodie from the pile of laundry, where he had thrown it yesterday. He carefully avoided looking in the mirror, because he knew without it, how miserable he looked. The night prior the thoughts and worries kept overwhelming him in the moments, when he thought he had calmed himself down.

This was not a new experience, especially recently, but it was still so draining, that he just dropped dead in his bed when his mind finally let go of him. The result was: his from the tears smeared eyeshadow was smudged all over his face, his clothes were covered with wrinkles and the bags under his eyes made him look like a panda. He had seen himself like that way too often. Today he could live without it. He proceeded keeping his gaze down, just so he wouldn’t accidentally catch a glance of that disaster. When he rested his hand on the handle of his door, he hesitated for a moment. Nah, the others had seen worse.

His soft steps made their way towards the stairs when his eyes slipped. He met his own gaze in the big mirror at the end of the hallway. Fuck. He looked worse than he thought he would. Virgil sighed. Anxiety. Woohoo. Well, everybody is known for something. He ripped his eyes away and concentrated on not tripping down the entire staircase.

Down in the living room he immediately saw Remus, grinning broadly while playing around with a way too big kitchen knife for Virgil’s taste.

“Virge! Think fast!”, Rem exclaimed, pretending to throw the knife. 

The emo flinched, missing the last step and tripping into the room. The Duke broke out in laughter. That moment Virgil started regretting coming here at all.

He silently sat down at the table. The food didn’t look bad, but the boy still felt like vomiting. He knew he had to eat something by now, after he didn’t leave his room for the entirety of the past day. But that changed nothing about his desire to disappear into thin air.

From the kitchen Virge heard a chanter of plates, shortly after which Janus appeared in the room.

“Morning”, the boy said, trying to sound as euphoric as he was capable of. Janus just shot him a short glance, after which he placed the plates on the table. Virgil felt a sharp sting in his heart. 

“Ree, would you mind…?”, Janus started, getting interrupted by Remus screeching from behind his back, which made him take a step away and hiss. 

The Duke started laughing, Jan rolled his eyes and lightly pushed him away, obviously trying to keep a straight face. Virgil had to fight the tears coming up. These two seemed so…comfortable. Why wasn’t he? 

He felt how his grip around his ribcage tightened. If he wouldn't do anything now, he would probably lose it then and there. Virgil, not knowing if he did it on purpose, or because he tried to clear his lungs, released a little cough. 

Remus’ head twisted around, while Janus just raised an eyebrow. 

“Did you guys call me here to eat, or…?” Virgil mumbled, trying to maintain bis wits. 

“Uh, yeah, right”, Janus nodded, and motioned towards the table. 

Remus immediately grabbed a piece of bread and stuffed the whole thing into his mouth before he even considered sitting down. Janus let himself fall onto a chair, also reaching for something to eat. Virgil rested his eyes on the plate in front of him. 

His vision started getting blurry. Fuck, no, not now. He just had to eat at least something. He didn't even have to interact with them. He just had to keep this facade up for a few minutes and when he had himself locked back in his room; he could cry all he-. 

His train of thought got interrupted by something heavy hitting him in the head. 

“Ouch!” Virgil looked up, just to see a grinning Remus and a plastic egg coddler laying in front of him.

“What the hell?” He tried to meet Janus' eyes, hoped he would say something, but he was looking in Remus' direction. 

Virgil tried to pretend that he hasn't seen the tiny, but obvious smirk on his face. 

But he couldn't. That was certainly enough for today. Virgil grabbed the first edible thing he could reach and dashed up the stairs. The tears were already streaming down his face when he reached the door to his room. 

If this would have been an exception, he wouldn’t have reacted like this. But it hasn’t been different for about a year now. 

Remus has been like this forever, but Janus…sure, he also wasn’t kindness in person, but he once tried. Tried to appear caring. He even helped him out with his late-night thoughts. Virgil actually liked being around him. Liked talking to him until either of them fell asleep, because the conversations distracted him from his thoughts. He enjoyed the bluntness that Janus sometimes stated because it made his overthinking seem unnecessary. At that time, he actually felt like he could live like that. He felt...happy. 

And then that started fading. Janus started forgetting, or pretending to forget, about the moments they shared. About the friendship they had...if it ever was really friendship. From day to day to day his efforts were shrinking. But for some reason…just towards him. He still treated Remus the same way as ever. Letting him goof around and accepting his little mischiefs. 

God, how much he wished for everything to go back to how it was. But the longer he waited, the worse it got. Janus would never be the same again. Whatever changed him, changed him forever. Otherwise, he would have snapped out of it by now, after an entire year...

Virgil broke down. Again. What was he meant to do? He couldn’t just…wave goodbye, leave Thomas’ head and move to someone else’s. But he also couldn’t isolate himself completely. He still had needs, and he couldn’t avoid the other two forever. 

He felt his breath becoming flat and fast, his thoughts felt like a crowd of people screaming at each other, he started trembling. There was a single question in his head, which he normally suppressed, even in that state of mind. But now he let it form in his consciousness. 

Were sides capable of…dying?


	2. Who are you?

Virge spent the whole day in his room, silently hoping for one of the others to knock. To show some sign of interest, to show him that they…cared. Even the slightest bit. 

But nobody knocked. The room remained deadly silent. Virgil even lacked the motivation to get his headphones…to block the silence in any way. 

After hours of barely moving, he at least got up to eat the things he stole from breakfast this morning. His belly was seemingly thankful, and Virgil felt like he had a minor source of energy.

Yes, the situation still sucked, but hey, at least his brain regained its ability to function. Normally function. Virge got up and stretched his limbs. Maybe he should go and see Thomas. 

Sure, it was getting late, and he knew Thomas hated it, when he popped up in the middle of the night, but…it was worth a shot. He hadn’t seen him in a while because he always had the feeling that he didn’t really enjoy Virge’s company, but he couldn’t see any other option. The boy took one deep breath, exhaled, and nodded. Yeah. Let’s see Thomas.

He purposefully appeared in front of his room because he knew, that if he popped up next to his bed, Thomas would probably straight up kill him. Virgil hesitated for a second, but then got his strength together and opened the door. By now he knew what parts of the floor squeaked if he stepped on them and how to get to the bed without making noise in general. He learned how to approach Thomas without scaring him.

Just as he wanted to make his way towards him, he bumped into something. Or someone, at that. He had never seen this person in the headspace. What was he doing in Thomas’ room at night? And why now? Virge slowly and carefully raised his head just to realize, that searching eye contact to him was about as hopeless as his current situation.

The person wore black sunglasses. And a leather jacket. The emo shortly started wondering, if that guy was sent to assassinate them all, if not for the plastic cup, about half filled with coffee. 

“Who the fuck-…?”, Virgil mumbled, immediately getting interrupted.

“Babe, if someone is allowed to ask that question, it’s me!” 

The emo just stared. He couldn’t really decide if the guy was being rude or not. But Virge felt like he wasn’t really welcome in this room, so he tried to make his way back to the door. He could come back later, maybe he would be gone the-…suddenly Virgil got pulled back by his elbow. 

“Nah, girl, you just came here, and you really think I’ll let you leave? Thomas is a boring bitch after all. So back to topic. Who the fuck are you?” 

Alright then, small talk. Great. That’s what he came for. 

“I’m Thomas’ anxiety, what’s your talent?” 

Virgil didn’t really know, why he refused to say his own name, but it felt better not to. 

“Wow, no reason to get bitchy. Call me Remy…or sleep if we go by that…”

Remy pushed his sunglasses down to the tip of his nose and looked Virge up and down. 

“So, our first-time meeting is in a bedroom...that's basically destiny"

Now Virgil started feeling incredibly uncomfortable. He backed off a little. 

"Girl, I'm just kidding, god...are you always that...exciting?"

Remy just wouldn't stop trying...so Virgil changed his strategy. 

"Yes, actually. My talking skills are incredible, I'm extremely fun at parties"

"Bitch, what parties, have you ever even taken off that Hoodie?" That guys sarcasm was a fucking nightmare. 

"No. I am wearing that thing for 27 years now. Why?" 

"Heck, will you guys stop that battle of satire?" 

Both twisted their heads around to face a sleep deprived Thomas sitting up in the middle of his bed. Virgil immediately felt guilty. He didn't want to upset Thomas today...he just wanted to talk. 

"I'm sorry Thomas, I didn't...sorry, I'll just..." Virgil felt sick. 

Even Thomas didn't want to see him, and Remy probably hated him already. 

"No, stay here." Thomas rubbed his eyes and looked at him. 

"You look like you wanted to talk. What's up?" 

Virges eyes widened. Yeah, maybe Thomas was just being friendly, but for the first time in a while he felt...cared for. His eyes flickered over to Remy. The man realized that and turned his head towards him. 

"Babe, I can leave if that makes it easier. You need cheer-up, don't ya." 

Virge needed to shortly think about it. Honestly...maybe that guy is not that bad after all...

"No. Stay here."


	3. I’m not your friend.

When Virgil got to bed later that night, he felt a bit better. 

Thomas couldn’t actively help Virge with the other two, but he at least felt like he had an escape.

Remy turned out to be pretty funny after Virgil got used to his sarcastic tone. He managed to hype him up…even if just temporarily. For the first time in a long while, he woke up well-rested. Virge got up to get dressed. 

The whole time he was arguing with himself if he should go downstairs to the others. He wanted to keep his good mood, but he also felt like he should give them another chance. 

Virgil brushed his hair out of his face and then turned around. Time for the decision. 

A few minutes he remained in that position, standing in the middle of his room. He really didn’t want to talk to Janus right now. But at the same time, he really wanted to see him. He didn’t even know why exactly. His hopes, that anything changed, were literally non-existed. But the feeling didn’t want to leave. 

On his way downstairs the doubts grew bigger, and as he placed his first step into the living room, immediately seeing Janus and Remus fooling around on the sofa, the pain in his heart became overwhelming. He struggled with himself for another second, until he ducked out. 

He appeared on the stairs in Thomas’ living room. 

“Hey Tomas! I hope I’m not bothering- “ 

Virgil froze in his tracks, as he caught a glance of the whole place. Wow. Those were three more people than expected. It seemed like he interrupted an intense conversation. The emo felt more and more uncomfortable with every second that passed. They were all staring. 

His eyes turned to Thomas, begging him to do something. He felt his panic rising. Surprisingly, Thomas was not the one to break the silence. 

“That’s a surprise.” 

Virge turned around to look in the stone-cold face of the man standing to his left. Glasses, tie, black buttoned up shirt. Welcoming. 

“Indeed. I wasn’t reckoning to see our “friend” from the other side today.” 

The word “friend” was dripping with sarcasm. Virge couldn’t even look into the mocking face of the prince-alike. If he had to describe this…person, he would probably say something along the lines: “gorgeous, and well-aware of that”. And he realized, he despised those kinds of people. 

“Princey!” Finally. That was Thomas’ voice. Though he didn’t really look like he was trying to teach the Prince manners. 

“Are you alright, kiddo? Don’t take it personal.” 

The warm, welcoming smile the last man gave him, for some reason, made him even more furious. The first guy cleared his throat. 

“Excuse me…was I in any way intimidating? I apologize if that was the case.” 

Virge was confused, about how he was feeling. But there was one thing he knew. He wanted to leave. 

“I guess I better spare you my company.” 

Virge wanted to disappear as fast as he could, but unfortunately Thomas now comprehended the situation. 

“No, wait. You’re here already. The others can keep themselves together a bit, can you?” 

Thomas shot a judging look over to the Prince, who rolled his eyes, but nodded. 

“Okay, now. What’s the matter?” 

Virgil’s confused expression quickly shifted into disbelief.

“So first you want me to talk in front of Remy, and now I am supposed to spill my heart out in front of…them?” 

Virgil stared at Thomas, waiting for an answer. He sighed. 

“Listen. It’s you who wants me to listen to you- “, 

“Because I thought you cared!” He felt his eyes filling with tears. But he surely could blink them away for another moment. 

“I do, I just can’t- “, 

“Thomas…I’m not your friend. I thought I was, but now I know who is.” 

His gaze wandered over the three strangers standing around him. 

“I am a disturbance. And that’s okay. But don’t try to make me believe otherwise. Just be honest to me and your life will become a lot easier.” 

“Hey, please wait!”  
“Kiddo, we can go if you- “ 

Virge didn’t listen. 

In less than a second he was back in his room. Alone. Finally. He felt relieved, but at the same time…he felt like he just crashed into a dead end. 

To be honest, he did have a little bit of hope, when he saw three people he didn’t know. Hope, that maybe there was a way out. Hope, that maybe he was not alone. 

But all of that disappeared in thin air within seconds. At least two of them seemed like they would give everything to get rid of him as quickly as possible. And then there was that third guy, who was so friendly that you didn’t even have to look at him to recognize the façade that was probably carefully developed over the course of several years. Maybe humans are just natural dorks. 

Speaking of natural dorks, Virgil heard a loud, long screech, followed by a thump. A few moments later, there was a two-voiced laughter. Ugh. Alright, time for known and approved calming mechanisms. Music. 

Virge reached for his headphones, but just as he wanted to connect them to his phone, he heard a voice. Why can’t everyone just go away? 

“Hey Kiddo. I felt like after before, I need to explain a few thingys.”

It was the “friendly” guy from before. Of course, he would try to apologize. 

“Yes, I got it, you’re sorry, and you all surely care about my well-being and want to help. Been there. Well, you have to know I don’t know any of you, and I sincerely don’t care.” The emo just hoped to be left alone as soon as possible. 

But the man apparently wasn’t planning on granting him that wish. 

“That’s not how somebody who doesn’t care behaves.” 

Virgil didn’t raise his eyes from his phone. 

“You feel alone, don’t you, kiddo?” 

That surprised him a lot. His gaze immediately snapped up. The man’s smile, despite Virges expectations, seemed sincere and caring. Shortly, Virgil considered trusting him. But eventually, he decided otherwise. 

“That’s none of your business.” 

To his surprise the man’s smile didn’t fade a bit. He nodded. 

“If you feel ready to - or need to – talk, just know. I’m Patton, Thomas’ Morality, and dad figure, and you can find me either in my room or the living room at any time of the day. Even at night. I don’t sleep that deep.”

Patton grinned one last time and disappeared. 

Virgil was left behind, his thoughts going wild. One word spiraled over and over in his head, closely followed by a question mark. 

Friend?


	4. One last chance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating...the past weeks were really busy for me. Anyway, enjoy :)

Patton’s offer followed Virgil around for the rest of the day. 

If he were honest with himself, he could use someone to rely on. But he knew that guy for barely half a day, and he recently got disappointed by a bunch of people he knew his whole life. Additionally, he didn’t know if he could handle one more disappointment in his condition. 

For hours, he was just leaning against the wall, listening to music through his voice-cancelling headphones and thinking about his options. Around 7 PM one of those options decided to interrupt his thought process, through popping up in the middle of his room. 

“Hey babe, thought I’d check in before I…wow, you look fucking dead inside.” 

Remy pushed his sunglasses down to the tip of his nose to let his eyes wander over Virgil. Virge tried to avoid eye contact. 

“I’m fine, that’s how I look most of the time.” 

Remy’s look became questioning.

“Fucking dead inside? Well, it’s not a good look on you.” 

“I’m literally Anxiety. It’s not like I have a choice.” 

Remy raised one eyebrow. After a moment he just shrugged. 

“Anyway, after what you told me yesterday, I thought I’d pick something up on my daily trip to Starbys.” 

With those words he got a plastic cup of coffee and a blueberry muffin out and placed them on Virgil’s desc. The emo couldn’t hide his surprise. 

“I didn’t realize you could be…you know, friendly.” 

Remy scoffed. 

“Actually, I don’t mind a second coffee.” He motioned his hand towards it. 

“No!” 

As the boy turned back around, he couldn’t hide a smirk.   
“Ts, I knew it.” 

Virgil tried not to look too embarrassed, as he stood up to stretch his limbs. He felt how his belly rumbled. 

“Alright girl, Imma…” 

Remy waved his hand towards the door. 

Virgil nodded. 

Remy was in the middle of ducking out, as Virgil mumbled a silent “Thank you”. Remy lightly smiled, and then he was gone. 

Virge couldn’t hold himself from eating the muffin already, but he decided to keep the coffee for the next morning. He wanted to get tired as fast as possible. 

All of this confused him. He felt like Remy wasn’t too thrilled to see him the previous day. So that he turned up at his room without a warning to bring him food was more than unexpected. 

Sure, he was still angry at Thomas. But now there were possibilities. He found the way out that he was hoping for so much, now he just needed the courage to walk that way. 

And before Virge would be ready to take on that decision, he desperately needed rest. He quickly changed into his night clothes, that he hadn’t touched in a few weeks, properly washed off his eyeshadow and got into his bed. 

His thoughts were still raging, but he managed to force them into a murmur in the back of his mind. He focused on his steady breathing, slowly drifting off to sleep.   
-  
As he woke up the next morning, he was ready to make a choice. And part of that choice was allowing the other two to prove themselves. One last time. 

Virgil quickly got dressed and silently went down the stairs. 

It seemed like Remus wasn’t awake yet…or doing something shady. Virge didn’t care that much…he was even kind of glad to be able to confront Janus alone. 

He entered the kitchen as loudly as he could, to draw the other’s attention to him. That strategy worked out semi-well. Janus immediately turned around, but the facial expression he put on the moment he realized who was standing in front of him sent an ice-cold shiver down Virges spine. 

He tried to ignore the creeping up feeling and put a subtle smirk on. 

“Morning.” 

Janus turned back around towards the dishes. Virgil expected him to act like nothing like that happened…but to his surprise he started talking. 

“You didn’t show yourself down here for a few days…” 

His voice even sounded a little bit worried…or Virge was just hallucinating. 

“Well, you two didn’t really want me here, did you?” 

Virgil hoped to hear that shimmer of concern again. Even if it wasn’t real…it felt good to hear it. Janus now turned around to him, putting his gloves back on. Apparently, he was done with the dishes. 

“I don’t care. It’s not my business. If you want to starve…feel free.” 

His voice was stone-cold again. Not a sign of emotions. Virgil’s heart dropped. Well, at least now he knew where they stood. And that it was unmovable. 

He slowly nodded. 

“Will do.” 

His decision stood. He had nothing to lose here, so why not try to win something somewhere else?

The emo glanced into Janus’ eyes a last time, and then turned around on his heel and strode out of the room.   
“Virgil…”   
His voice was annoyed, disgusted, pissed…anything along those lines. However, nothing that Virgil wanted to hear. 

On his way to his room, he crossed paths with Remus. The Duke grinned broadly.

“Mooooooorniiiiiiiiing.” 

Virgil looked at him with an emotionless gaze. 

“Why don’t you go and annoy Janus? He seems to enjoy it.” 

With those words he passed him and slammed his door.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to comment critisisms :D


End file.
